...language, that is.
Yes, it is graduation offer time here at The Yewni.
This means I:
(a) miss gym sessions because it is now 6:20pm and I have been doing lots of last-minute allocations that people over in the Faculties just "happened" to find on their desks
(b) find myself in the middle of conversations like this:
Dumb-Arse Student: hello, what do I need to do for my graduation?
Me: Just a second and I shall look you up. Right. Oh – it appears you have already responded to your offer online.
DAS: yes, but what do I need to DO?
Me: well, you have accepted your ceremony online, so that’s all we need from you.
DAS: yes yes and I have booked my regalia online also – but what else do I need to DO??
Me: (stupidly deciding to use logic) Is your name correct?
Me (still with the logic, you'd think I'd learn): is your address correct?
Me: Because your offer will have been posted either Friday, or posted tod-
DAS: I did not get any mail on Friday.
Me: (by now wondering if there are jobs going at the KFC on Grattan St): Well, yes, but we would have only posted it on Friday, so it will take a day or two to reach you.
DAS: (long pause, somehow implying that the vagaries of mail delivery and/or the laws of time and space are not really applicable to him): But what else is there to do?
Me: nothing – just wait till you get your paperwork in the mail, there’ll be some ceremony information in there. And that’s it, you’re done. You just have to make sure you turn up on the day at the right time.
DAS: (another long pause in which even the breathing conveys that somehow this is all very unsatisfactory): (hangs up)
And we are giving this student......A MASTER DEGREE.